Custodians, Chapter 6: The Self

Imposter Syndrome Is Not a Delusion

, 3 min read

A single empty chair in a spotlight on a dark stage
Photo by Marcelo Jaboo on Pexels

Imposter syndrome is usually described as a cognitive distortion. You are competent, you feel like a fraud, the feeling does not match the facts, and the work is to correct the feeling. Believe in yourself. You earned your place. Everybody feels this way.

I think that advice is wrong, and wrong in a specific direction that makes the problem worse. The feeling is not a distortion. It is an accurate reading of something real, and telling a person to override an accurate perception is not therapy. It is gaslighting with good intentions.


Start with what the feeling actually reports. It does not say I am incompetent. Competent people have it most, which is the detail every treatment of the subject notices and then walks past. What it says is narrower and stranger: I am not who I appear to be, and one day this will come out.

Now ask whether that is false.

Think about the last version of yourself you sent out into the world. A profile, a bio, a post. The photograph taken more than once, from more than one angle, reviewed, selected, cropped, brightened, maybe a little work on the jawline or the shadows.

That is not communication. It is positioning.

So: is the version accurate? No. You know it is not. You performed the selection yourself.

The feeling that you are not who you appear to be is therefore not a malfunction. It is a correct report, delivered by a part of you that is still paying attention.


Personal brand. Self-worth. Social capital. Invest in yourself. Networking. What is your value proposition.

Read those as though you had never heard them. Every one takes a term from the market and applies it to a human being.

If the self is a holding, then it follows that it must be maintained, positioned and defended, and that its decline is a loss of value. Which is why ageing, in this framework, cannot be experienced as a stage of life. It has to be experienced as depreciation.


You are being asked to close a gap between an edit and a life, and the edit was made by removing exactly the material that a life is made of.

Because the way out is not closing the gap. The way out is dropping the premise that produced the gap.

You did not design your intelligence. You did not build your own nervous system, or choose the century, or arrange the circumstances of your birth, or generate the energy you spent developing whatever you developed. Every input was received.

If none of it is property, then there is nothing to maintain, nothing to position, and no asset to depreciate. The question stops being am I enough, which has no answer, and becomes what am I doing with what I was handed, which has an answer every single day, and a different one tomorrow.

You were never a product with a quality problem. You were a soul with a filing error.